April 18, 2006


family is the center of a pinwheel. it can be blown in one of two directions, with a series of repercussions for each. one direction is that of destruction....the rise and fall of the family in America accounts for the majority of all crime, social and behavior issues, school drop outs, run-aways, drug and alcohol abuse, child and spousal abuse, and poverty. it all starts in the family unit.

the other direction this pinwheel is blown is one that is an excruciating fight. a fight for peace, a fight for real love. a fight for seeing and believeing that your family can and chooses to be advocates of each other. that they really and truely long to have peace and strength as a family unit. that no matter what, they choose to give each other the benefit of the doubt. choose to forgive. choose to lay down their pride when they've hurt another. choose to put their family ahead of themselves. that they would choose to fight......every waking moment of their life for this thing, this unit, this pinwheel we call family. established and rooted and founded by God.

"i love my family. so you can imagine my surprise. when i found out this world isn't made for families". -mark mathis

it's true. families....real, honest, fighting for truth and peace families are not welcome here. and they do not have an easy road on this planet. they are constantly stricken with fear, doubt, abuse, unforgiveness, bitterness, lies, manipulation and a passion for control and power over one another.......over their very own blood. i am grieved with family. i am grieved with a sense that no matter how hard one fights for victory and truth and love to triumph in ones family, that the battle just gets harder with every small, new victory. i believe that fighting for family is sometimes harder than being called to help refugees or fight in a war or go hungry. because no matter what happens: good or bad. those same people will always still be your family. no matter how far away you travel, or how many years pass between conversations......they will always still be your family.

i may sound discouraged.....which i'd be lying if i said i wasn't right now. but i do want to encourage people to fight for family. it's hard as hell. it's not a task for the weak-hearted. you have to be willing to sacrifice anything, everything to see the truth and have it be known in your family. i believe in family. i believe we are called to tend to our families. to love them. to give them everything we have, and more. not out of obligation, but out of a heart of love and humility. 

in a place where i feel defeated and hopeless right now (i swear my family is trying to give me a heart attack today), i claim the Lord's victory over my family. i acknowledge and confess our weaknesses and short-comings. our back-stabbings and manipulative ways. and i say that these are all just mechanisms to try and pull us apart, sent by the enemy himself. i refuse to believe that after all we have been through and seen the Lord redeem and rebuild in our family that it was all for nothing. i choose to believe that we love each other, value each other, and make one another a priority over anything else in this life. and above all i choose to love my family. i give up my feelings, my hurt, my theories, myself. if i have truely been wronged, may Jesus be my advocate. may Jesus stand and be my justice. i deserve nothing, apart from who He is in me. 

Lord, bless the families of this nation. the corrupt, distant, separated, crooked families in the church and in the streets. remind us of what you want family to look like. ignite your fire in our hearts to want to fight for our families. i ask for grace to be poured upon the families you have placed in my life. and give us hope. show us that because of who You are, that things will change. they have to. how else will the world know Your love, if christian families don't even love each other? 

i don't want my children to not know their grandparents, because we couldn't work things out. because we wouldn't humble ourselves. or we wouldn't forgive. or we just refused to be wrong. pride is a killer. let it die so that others don't have to suffer because of it. there is nothing in my opinion, no belief, no opinion, no action, no event, no hurt that is big enough to take the place of love and forgiveness in a family. it's just not worth it to me. life is just too short. and your family will never stop being your family. 

yeah, i grieve but i also believe in breakthrough.....come....